Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Cleaning House... Where My Ring At?

The "M" word bothers me. It bothers me something terrible. If I see it in a book, the Sunday newspaper or when I see a friend that I haven't seen in a while and I ask how they are and they in turn say to me "I'm married now"... like Shug Avery in The Color Purple.

Somehow, some way, for some reason it troubles me. It stirs up my emotions much like seeing a bunch of pregnant women in the spring and summer time.

This kind of started last year when a friend of mine, a co-worker who I used to date, told me that he was getting married. At the moment that he said it to me, I truly think that my breath left my body as if I was punch in the belly. I felt like Jill Scott expressed in her song "My Love".






I was in denial saying things to myself such as "he can't be getting married", "we have unfinished business". But then I realized that a whole 5 years had passed since our last date and 3 years since we held a decent conversation. After many months of thinking it through I realized my real feelings were "When in the world am I getting married?".

I thought I made peace with it years ago when I decided to wear rings on my ring finger to signify my devotion to me and my own true happiness. That is fine and well but the reality is when I go home, I go home to me and me alone. I would love to go out with a spouse and share in that type of experience. I'm 32 and while never having a child, I have never even been proposed to and sometimes it saddens me.

Today though I decided that I've held on to this emotional hurt too long and decided to do something about it. I must make peace with it.

I must make peace with:
  • Never being proposed to
  • Feeling that I'm not worthy of being someone's wife
  • Looking for marital status to validate me

I affirm myself with:

  • I know that I deserve Love and accept it now
  • I give out Love and it is returned to me multiplied
  • My life is a joy filled with Love, Fun, Friendship and all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open
  • I choose Love, Joy and Freedom
  • I open my Heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my Life

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